Jom Berubah on 'How to Change People'

So, you can’t change other people, right? Not directly anyway. I wouldn’t say this as an absolute because there might possibly be some exceptions, but for the most part, the only way for one person to change another person is through influencing that other person to change themselves.

One very powerful way to influence people is through prayer, praying that they will be open to hearing from Allah and that Allah will speak to them and guide them in various ways. It is interesting to note though, that even Allah does not change people by force.

Other specific ways that one person can influence another person involve boundary setting and various systems of reward and punishment. These kinds of things can be quite effective, depending on many factors.

Besides prayer, boundary setting, and rewards and punishments, people also frequently try to influence other people through the use of words in some form or other. There are many ways of using words to influence people. But there is one particular way of using words to try to influence and change that is so extremely ineffective.

What I am specifically referring to is the practice of pointing out other people’s faults and weaknesses to them, some kind of attempt to show them the error of their ways. I suppose the idea is that once people are given this information, they will then be enlightened and will respond by changing in some positive way.

One reason I believe this method of influence is highly ineffective is that it is based on a faulty premise; that premise being that people are unaware of their own faults and weaknesses. This, I believe, in an overwhelming majority of cases, is not true. And although people certainly attempt to compensate for, justify, and hide (even from themselves) their weaknesses and faults, still they are very much aware of them.

Thus, having one’s faults and weaknesses pointed out by someone else is highly likely to result in defensiveness and anger, but highly unlikely to result in positive change. It is my belief and has been my experience that, as a method of influencing others toward positive change, appreciating and nurturing their strengths and good qualities is far more effective in bringing about positive change than is pointing out faults and weaknesses.

As at the programme 'Jom Berubah' we (the trainers) have undergone a great length to research and study the most appropriate method that can influence people to change and transform into a better person.

If there is anyone out there disagree with my point of views, I would encourage your input. Influence me. I believe I am a reasonably open minded person . . .

regards

MZA

Lim Juga Mempunyai Cita-Cita

Bayangkan....dan fahami

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MZA

Goal Setting

Megat on Goal Setting

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Salam all,

If you know that you can do more with your life, but struggle with the means of acquisition, consider your goal setting skills. By learning to effectively set goals, you are taking the first step to a happy, more productive life that is fulfilling. Once you learn how to set goals, moving into the ability to commit to those goals and seeing them through to completion will enable you to experience the many benefits of goal setting, and the general success that you want!

Goal setting is a powerful way of motivating people. In fact, goal setting theory is generally accepted as among the most valid and useful motivation theories in industrial and organizational psychology, human resource management, and organizational behavior. Locke's research showed that there was a relationship between how difficult and specific a goal was and people's performance of a task. He found that specific and difficult goals led to better task performance than vague or easy goals.

Telling someone to "Try hard" or "Do your best" is less effective than "Try to get more than 80% correct" or "Concentrate on beating your best time." Likewise, having a goal that's too easy is not a motivating force. Hard goals are more motivating than easy goals, because it's much more of an accomplishment to achieve something that you have to work for. A few years after Locke published his article, another researcher, Dr Gary Latham, studied the effect of goal setting in the workplace. His results supported exactly what Locke had found, and the inseparable link between goal setting and workplace performance was formed.


Enjoy


-MZA-

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Tahniah! dan semoga berjaya.

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Regards

MZA